day one

write about myself? this seems awful incriminating. i suppose having a blog in general is incriminating.


i drink too much coffee and i really like bathrobes. i’d like to get one for each day of the week, silly ones and pretty ones and wear them depending on my mood. i am also quite fond of hats. i like cats a lot. that’s a huge understatement. i’m codependent on my cats. okay, so i’m a little crazy. at least that’s what pill-pushing doctors tell me, but i really. i am. batshit. total mad woman. anxietyridden-manicdepression-bipolar/winning-ptsd fucked in the head. you can just call me sylvia plath. i don’t like people much, in general. i do love people as a whole though. i have a heart so large it weighs me to the ground for the people i do love. i love music. i love to sing but i am not a singer. i want to relearn the guitar. i want to know more on the piano. i want a tambourine and a mandolin and a banjo and i want to know how to play them all. i’d also like to take up knitting or crocheting. i need a job. my last job consisted of stripping from 2008 until may 2011, i guess. i’m residing with my mother and i will not be for much longer. i have lots of goals. i was a heroin addict for a long time and pretty much pawned my life away along with most of my other belongings. i’m trying to get it back though. i just want to be okay. i want everyone to be okay. i can’t wait to move. i want to travel. i’m quite fond of adventures. i love art. i make art. i want to be an elementary school art teacher one day. i really love kids. more than that i’d like to be a mother. they need to make a cure for baby-fever. i refuse to call myself a vegan or vegetarian but i don’t eat meat and i don’t drink cow-milk. i just want to be healthy. i suffered from an eating disorder for about half of my existence and randomly got over it when i found out marilyn monroe was a size 14. this was a month or so ago. i think i might be lying to myself about that though. i do that a lot. i distort my own reality for my own benefit. i like to drink. a lot. but i need to not drink. i’m sure i’ll end up discussing more about that in the future. i wear my socks inside out because i hate the way the wrinkles feel. i am in love with a beautiful boy and that leaves me absolutely terrified. i’m a mess. and a messy person. i really hate these things. i’m not even sure i know myself so how could i possibly spell it all out for you in words and phrases? i’m ever-changing, just like my hair. what do you want to know? and why? my favorite color is green. do you know me now? i need a cigarette.